Cheers................................

                                                CHEERS........................................

• A company which has 100% monopoly in a product in an entire state.
• Whose consumers increase every day and quantity consumed per person also increases.
• Highly addictive product-consumers only leave then they die of/for/by it.
• Growth % has been always in double digits year on year with no marketing budget.strategy
• Customer experiences have always been below par for many do not realize what they are served leave alone how?

Yup, no points for guessing it from clue 1: Yes the one and only TASM**


TN State Marketing Corporation in short TASM**

There are 10 distilleries catering to it, No.1 MC Dowell Medium Brandy is the no:1 in state,Haywards 5000 Super Strong Beer in beer category.There are brand wise, depot wise stock details like that of essential ammunition of an army.Starting from a modest 2000 crore sales in 2002, now it has grown to over 17,000 crores per year.What a changeover mama.:)

•   There are "raw" kudiyans who dont mix water packet at all either due to their experience or due to their poverty divide it so exactly between them,that weighing machines would be put to shame
•   Auto drivers who come with their uniform not sure if they would do in auto but come in uniform and discuss from Obama to Osama
•   IT guys who come in,not for bar experience but to take it to their rooms chilled which sometimes is not possible
•   Marketing guys who come at any point of day to drown a little and carry on with their work
•   Irony is that no staff or bar guys drinks, height of professionalism
•   Lots of pushing is done for chalna, sundal,packet for they are tough to push in normal shop    
•  Some do not even buy water packet or plastic glass but mix/divide in the leftover bottles-make sure they do in the same brand or there would be dilution      
• Vomiting is charged at 50rs, but rarely do people give money they only give vomit  
• If you are in your inebriated state, chances of pickpocketing zooms high    
• Get involved in drunken brawls, you do not get hurt at all for you do not feel at all until next day    
• Discussions corner on political equations to roadside anitha's and vanitha's soup to guys     
• 1 bad word per sentence increases to 1 good word after drinking      
• Many buy 2 bottles,one to drown here and one at home-normally kept safe in their own trousers in pockets,safe and secure      
• Decent dressed guys would be pushed costly side dishes and snacks as hard core and professional never exceed their side dish quota or buy new/costly ones     
• Environment at most stinks to the core:reason many dont feel it is drowned and downed

 Popular Side-Dishes:

• Channa masala
• Boiled egg
• Half boil
• Raw Mango
• Boatie(goat liver)-30rs
• Veg salad
• Fruit salad
• Thala kari
• Eeral
• Chicken fry
• 5rs 3rs chips
• Pickles

        

 Important Formula:

Quarter(1/4) = 180ml = 3 large ( because 1 large = 60ml)

Small = 30ml

Cutting = large+small ==>60+30=90ml

Half(1/2) = 360ml

Full(1) = 720ml 

Classification of Characters:

Professional: One who knows what he wants,his limit and never crosses it whatever be the reason(good/bad) and rarely comes with others,orders without fuss,
mixes correctly,knows his favorite side dishes and does not do impulse buying and never goes for beer takes time more than normal,contemplates,completes and goes off,Creation of fuss neutral,comes in with professional attire,indication that he is drunk is almost nil.Never picks up fights/quarrels and completes his mission and escapes.

Free Guy: These are people who rely purely on others,get their daily share either knowingly or unknowingly.Have a ready made sorry face mask going around asking people
for drinks,water packet,plastic cup,side dish.Will have some money to show off that he is not asking for alms but has only little money and only needs extra money.Never goes for beer
for its costly,and loiters around till he gets his share,would settle in for anything around.Hits jackpot with "professionals" as they are too busy with their own and
want nil disturbance.Knows his trade and never asks deep drunkards.Be there till his daily share and goes off after its done.Would be a victim of fights as these are the
floating population in the place

Steady Guys: These are the deep drunkards who drink raw without mixing thus making the shop cash counter dry.Never goes for mixing for it hampers their ego,
comes in two or max three persons and shares 49.99999% proportion among two.This sharing is done mutually and lots of care is taken to make it exactly half.Does not buy water
packet nor plastic cup and uses leftover bottle of the same brand for proportionality.Buys 2 bottles one for here and another carry home.Knows to keep a glass bottle laden with
liquid in his trouser beneath as easy as a Messi goal and goes home.Also does not buy any side dish as well much to the ire of "sundal" guy in the shop.The guys who drink the
maximum but does not look inebriated for their quantity due to the work experience put up over the years.Have no problems of chewing gum/mint to freshen up their mouth for
all their families know about them.Free Guy rarely touch bases with Steady guys.Know their trade and plays well.Most strongest and influential of all classes of characters

Hard core: These are the characters who cause maximum gain and pain to the shop.Come in for either happy or sad reason.Mostly sad reasons and drown up their sorrows with one bottle after another.Come in alone like professional.Have more than enough cash to buy more than daily limit of alcohol.Know for sure that they would cross
their limit that day but seem least cared about that.Vomits occasionally but gulps down a bottle after that.Free guy have their hunt focused on such ones for these hardcore
either give liquor knowingly/unknowingly.Highest contributor of blabbering and incessant jokes that plague talks and movie scenes come from these experts.Goes in austerity drive
for some days after this episode.Promises to quit drinking the moment he reaches instability but comes back in a few days.Increase their alcohol levels
steadily over the  years to become addicts to the core.Buys more,vomits more,talks more,fights more,drinks more.Light in 15mins,Steady in 30mins,Professional in an hour and
evolution to hard core happens in less than 2 hours.Normally to be accompanied to home or to platform.

Light guys: these are the people who are white collared ones who come in as a social drink.Come on a friday night or maximum take home delivery to their rooms.Mostly go for
beer pretending and proclaiming that they are not alcohol addicts but beer as it contains only 5% alcohol(they proclaim)go for branded ones even if that means paying up more.
Order costly side dishes and does the mixing with soft drinks and not water packets.Mostly go for a/c bars attached to the shop and know their limits.Come in as groups
and either one or two blabbers after crossing their individual limits.Adds the maximum revenue to the shop as they buy beer which is costly and more in quantities.Does not mingle
with any of the other characters and gets out of the shop sneakingly as they can.

Miscellaneous: Northies who come in to buy home delivery start and stop with only the shop.take home un chilled ones as well as they have the luxury to keep these bottles
boldly enough in their fridges much to ire of southies.Elderly women who buy for themselves or take for their husbands are also common.

No offense intended to any person living or dead due to drinking

 

P.S: I am a 100% teetotaler

                                                      V N Balaji