Why this Kolaveri?

Things that have annoyed me or maybe I am hyper-sensitive to such things-here goes the list which have managed to raise my tempers a bit here in Chennai

• Why do vehicles chase after an ambulance creating nuisance for other vehicles as well as increasing accident ratio?
• Vehicles refusing to give space for a blaring ambulance in busy roads-possibilty of patient's life getting saved also depends on the time of their heart attack- if its peak hour-their chances are dim
• Uniformed guys choosing to eat food or drink tea in all roadside shops for FREE
• Women riders almost getting a free hand and never being caught by regulators at all
• College buses especially in OMR zipping and zapping flouting all rules making bikers lives dangerous
• Pot holes on all strecthes of road giving bikers the most troubles
• Politicos Scorpios and Innovas flouting every rule but escaping the wrath be it in rule or not
• Human beings involved in sewage cleaning of human sewage though banned by court
• Colleges charging capitation fees in a variety of ways to the tune of lacs
• Schools charging like colleges for their admission
• Admission forms given for kindergarden applications at odd hours and parents made to wait in long queues at untimely hours
• Govt promoting alcohol having opened 6000shops and raking in 17,000 crore every year and increasing the timings of the shops as well
• All Ultra deluxe buses have ultra deluxe only in name, pathetic seats, no TV, etc
• Share autos are 3 wheeled demons,racing with almost 8 people exclusive of the driver in these roads at high speed
• Parking fees in shopping malls, are indicator of prices inside the mall
• Street biking in roads making lives dangerous
• More mani mandapams opened only to encroach space and encouraging social menace-why not a single big one to house all of them-past,present and future
• 4lane roads are 2 lane roads and 6 lane roads 4 lane roads-thanks to encroachments on both sides
• Why do people go star crazy when they are just normal human beings doing there profession-acting?
• Crores of gold donated to temples which could go to feed hunger or eradicate diseases
• Actors ready to endorse everything from coffee to hair oil but refusing to endorse social causesBlaring stereo not just for their own cars but for other guys around-noise pollution
• Why do bloggers try to write everything they can- act as reformers of society :)

                                                                                                                                 V N Balaji

How to ride bike in Chennai without getting caught?

The following account is months of painstaking research and notes-not all of them were experienced by me-notably women and bike episodes.

Handy guide for bike riders in Chennai to save their hard earned money to spend in Sathyam Cinemas than some where else:

Not an exhaustive list(though)

• Dont speed up on an empty stretch of road
• Dont raise accelerator in a good stretch of road
• Beware of signal points and zebra crossings
• Always stand one or two lines back of in zebra line
• Travel with an older guy preferably age 50+
• Dont travel with persons equal your age if your age is between 20-35
• All the more dont travel with persons your same age of opposite sex in ECR
• If possible travel with your mom, you would never be caught
• Dont keep left, go right lane, many station themselves in the right side
• Look out for "white" signs 500ms ahead using telescopic vision,slow down deliberately
• Never speed up in a road which you have not traversed for over a week-you would not know danger spots
• Simplest one- wear a helmet-that reduces 75% of being caught
• Travel in car if possible, cars are rarely caught
• Travel alongside public transport MTC buses,they offer cover all time
• Travel alongside share autos, they always get caught-giving you time for distraction
• Never park your vehicle anywhere in road,be in bike all the time-ask the shopkeeper to get tea,tender coconut to bike
• Dont sport your company badge-that doubles up the possibility of fine levy
• Studies prove the possibilty of getting caught exponentially increases when travelling with a girl who sits double side than single side
• Be double cautious on ECR,OMR-those are plum areas of possibilities
• Dont be very slow near speed breakers-alert alert
• Have all the xerox of vehicle papers handy-not under the seat cover, but mostly in tank covers

I am a bike rider for the past 10 months having rided along many stretches in Chennai, no offence to regulators.

Feel free to add more points to the same.